Becoming A Leader: You May Be Smart. But Are You Wise?
In my last blog post, I mentioned Gerry VP of Finance who felt he wasn't up to being a leader. When I asked him about his experience of good leaders and who had inspired him, he referred to someone whom he described as wise. “I benefited from his wisdom, his ability to see things that I couldn't. He helped me to understand situations and people more deeply. I would like to become like him, but I don't know how.”
When I was talking to a colleague recently about wisdom their reply was, “Oh, you're talking about emotional intelligence.” Yes, the two are related but there are specific differences in the definitions and applications. I took the opportunity to ask ChatGPT about the differences. Here is a summary of the response. You may agree with it or not, but it's a useful starting point:
Emotional Intelligence (EI):
Definition: Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to perceive, understand, manage, and regulate one's own emotions, as well as the ability to recognize and influence the emotions of others.
Components: EI involves skills such as self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Focus: EI is primarily focused on emotional awareness and the effective use of emotions in personal and social situations.
Wisdom:
Definition: Wisdom is a broader and more complex trait involving the integration of knowledge, experience, and good judgment to navigate complex and uncertain situations.
Components: Wisdom often includes elements such as sound decision-making, perspective-taking, a deep understanding of human nature, compassion, and a sense of humility.
Focus: Wisdom goes beyond emotions and encompasses a broader range of cognitive and ethical considerations. It involves the ability to make decisions that are not only emotionally intelligent but also morally and ethically grounded.
In summary, emotional intelligence is more specific to the understanding and management of emotions, both one's own and others', while wisdom is a broader and more encompassing trait that involves making sound judgments and decisions based on a deep understanding of various aspects of life. While there can be some overlap, especially in areas like empathy and self-awareness, they are distinct constructs with different emphases and applications.
Gerry's response made me reflect on my own early leadership experiences in my 20s when as a fresh graduate dropped into a managerial role, totally untrained in any aspect of managerial leadership, (don't worry, they said, you're smart, you're a graduate, you'll soon figure it out.) I was totally at sea. All I had to rely on was an instinct formed by core values and my upbringing. With no disrespect intended to my family, the authoritarian atmosphere I grew up in did not prepare me for the vagaries of human nature. Here I was leading a team of mixed ages and backgrounds, struggling with trial and error, sometimes succeeding, often failing. My line manager was well-intentioned but quite distant and followed the same philosophy of ‘you’ll soon figure it out’. Mentoring was not part of the organization's way of people development. When I was finally allowed to attend a leadership development programme after 5 years, I wryly remarked that all this knowledge would have been useful previously to save a lot of pain. Certainly, those early years of trial and error had taught me something, but at a price. I had convinced myself that leadership roles were not for me. Had it not been for the wise counsel of subsequent line managers, I might have just withdrawn and chosen a specialist route.
So, what were the lessons I learned from those subsequent line managers? I can summarise them as follows:
· Learn to be self-aware and practise reflection.
· Before you speak, think about your intentions and how they could be misperceived.
· Be patient with yourself and others. Human frailty is part of reality.
· Don’t kid yourself that people are always convinced by logical argument. Emotions, beliefs, and values are key ingredients in the mixture of situational analysis and decision-making.
· Before deciding, pause and think about the longer-term consequences. Do you now need to rethink your position?
· Listen more than you speak. The learning and depth of understanding you will gain will be worth the effort.
· Adapt to survive and grow. Life will always throw you curveballs you couldn’t predict. You can’t control everything, only your reactions.
· Stay curious and be open to other perspectives. Appreciate differences in opinion.
You could look at this advice and see the elements for a happy life in general. Certainly, these nuggets of wisdom will help you to navigate the human elements of leadership better than just relying on your cognitive skills.
Life experiences teach us if we are willing to reflect on them. Some people may take years to develop wisdom, and painfully so. Others may have a shorter route if they have been intentional in adopting some of these practices consistently. But there are no guarantees that your wisdom, at whatever level you have achieved, will promise you successful leadership in every situation, with every decision you take, and every conversation you conduct. Every experience can give you another perspective to pay attention to. You may never become the Dalai Lama, but you can enrich yourself and others as your journey continues.
In your leadership journey, what have you learned from someone you’ve regarded as wise?